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Silverstone experience


Booked a driving experience at Silverstone for dear husband as an advanced bday gift. For some reason, it was cheaper to drive a Ferrari and Aston martin than just Ferrari – but then again I dont know what kind of Ferrari it was for the latter (maybe more super exciting fast ferrari?).

He’s not a major car fan or into F1 even but figured it’s one of those things that would be great to experience. Especially since our days are numbered before baby no 2 (aka before we hibernate for nx 6 mths-1 yr).😂😂

Managed to keep it a surprise all the way till we got there (“we have to collect your present which is an hour away…” lol so ominous). Must say, I’m not a car fan but hearing those engines roar are pretty exhilirating (alum lagi driving).

My words before he started were ‘be careful!! dont go crazy!!!’ hehe mau membalikan tapi takut jua banarnya.

Glad he enjoyed it and Zayan – the most car fan of us – were most excited to see the cara whizzing past.

Love you sayang,

From now on, your bday presents would be boring ok as nothing can top driving a Ferrari. Unless yknow I buy you one….


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September 7, 2014 · 11:06 pm

Raya in Brunei


Finally after all these years (maybe 5 yrs?), menyampati beraya di Brunei – albeit a week late and without M (boooo!).

Raya now means:

1. no ang pow/duit raya for me!!! Ok so I shouldnt feel disappointed – bernaknsudah and bekeraja but i cant help it okkkk. I still feel that young at heart LOL That said, amit ada bagi duit raya to me. Iski berabis!!

We’ve only been to a few houses but Zayan has collected a fair share of duit raya. Inda pulang ya paham – he just gives it to me or drop it once start bemain.

2. There’s tapak kuda in all the houses, like ALL the houses. Aint complaining.

3. Beraya one or two house is enough for me for a day. Ngalih after that!! Ahhh, years ago, I could go to more than 5 houses a day and be up for more!

It also doesnt help once Zayan gets restless. I mean, apa jua kan dibuatnya – he doesnt eat the roll and kek lapis and biscuits (weird child). He does like to ear satay and soto. Tapi lapas makan and if nada mainan, bored tia. Bored = restless = exploring people’s houses onto unchartered, ‘stay off’ territories.

4. I cant fit into any of my baju raya. I’m pretty sure I have exploded in the one week I’ve been back. Suddenly, my front and back is huge! I borrowed my SIL punya maternity baju kurung and only one yang muat! I asked her – mana baju kita yang kita pakai masa kami nikah? Cos I remember she popped the day after! lol confirm muat tu. Except she modify tia sudah to her current size.

5. Also i get envious looking at badan2 ramping pakai baju kurung. I was once liked that!

“you’re pregnant!”
“I knooowww…. still”

*psycho cakap sorang*

6. Toddlers/less than 3 yr olds wearing baju cara melayu and baju kurung is SO cute. Like kan di pirik2 cute.

7. Ok atu saja. I wish i can eat more and more but i feel full easily and if i push it, there WILL be consequences in the form of reflux/gastritis.

Ada hikmahnya jua lah alhamdulillah. Inda mendulur nafsu banar *pops in another tapak kuda*

Much love,



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August 16, 2014 · 7:39 am

Supermamas not real


Today I hit an all time low on motherhood – or at least since the newborn days (which I like to refer as the emotional rollercoaster days).

I was trying to put him down for a nap. He was getting cranky and yawning apa but REFUSED to go to sleep. Menangis sekuat hati, then when finally settled down, he started messing around. I was getting more and more frustrated sampai menangis.

Looking back, I should have just left it but I wanted to start revising for my exam (only 6 weeks to go…aghhh) and wanted to get some peace for revision, and not a cranky, sleep-deprived lil one. (Zayan needs to have his nap – if too late, we’ll miss the boat completely and nda tia mau tidur and get VERY VERY VERY cranky. A situation I very much wanted to

Anyway, so there I was getting frustrated at his refusal to sleep but also at my lack of patience. Why cant I just deal with him more patiently? Layan his crankiness. Be a supermum!

A supermum would be like – kenapa inda mau tidur? *said in a gentle, loving tone of voice* Ok lets find out why you’re cranky/crying in the last 30 minutes – even though you’ve pretty much said no to everything. We can go through the list again! Drink? Yoghurt? Something amazing on youtube? Elmo in real life? No? Let’s find some fun games to distract you!

But no, I was too tired from last night’s shift – came back home at almost 1.30 am. And I need to start studying.

Anyway, then I read my friend’s blog on how being a supermum is really something that is not real. Because let’s face it, no mum can ever be perfect. Mamas out there have their greatnesses and weaknesses. (ok not all mamas – there are some who have really really questionable parenting.)

So I forget to put on his eczema cream sometimes. And also forget to change nappy to the point it is almost to his knees. Sometimes I get annoyed and my patience snap. Sometimes I show youtube videos for distraction and some peace and quiet. And I tell myself all the time that I need to spend more time with you and play more with you, but always feels myself short in this. Heck, I’m not even a yummy mummy! (The mummy living upstairs always always looks impeccably dressed and is gentle and patient)

But I do try. I get him to be involved in cooking – he is now perfecting the skill of cracking eggs (too aggressive still). We read a book every night now when I’m there before sleep. My hugs and kisses are of indefinite amount – so needy I’m sure asking for hugs and kisses all the time. I try not to give mismatched socks anymore. And I eat healthier food and more vegs so my son will follow suit. And at least I dont smoke and swear in front of the kids – I mean ever.

Anyway, the point is supermums dont exist. There’s just mummies who try to be and do the best they can.

Love, me


January 5, 2014 · 1:05 am

Impromptu trip


Hi, we decided on an impulse to go to Alton Towers and stay a night at the resort. I dont wanna leave!!!!!!!

Love, me

Ps Actually Mumtathil malas kan pigi (he’s not into the structured resort disneyland-like propaganda) but I went all sulky and ‘sudah tah inda balik brunei, no cuti for awhile….’. WIN!

PPs We told Zayan to say cheese and hence the result of this photo. Like oh my, Zayan! M actually said ‘zayan can be so melating’.

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December 29, 2013 · 9:40 am

Zayan is 2!

*edited post*


My boy turned 2 a few days ago. We did a little makan2 with my sis in law and friends/neighbours from upstairs apartment. When I say makan2, I meant we bought food from a japanese restaurant and I made choc cake (fudge icing store bought – heheh- it was luxurious but lil salty for my taste). I was one hour late with zayan because there was a traffic jam going back home. So not only did I have all the food but the bday boy was with me too! Stressssssssssssssss!

Anyway we had a lovely night in the end. Zayan had fun playing with Hamzah, our friends/neighbour punya kid. Who has the cutest curls and piercing grey eyes. Heartbreaker in the making!

This weekend, we’re going to have people coming down. Big Bro 1 and family. My cousin. My in laws. I am inwardly gulping and thinking how we’re going to pull this off!! (Actually we’re gonna go for catering so 80% of the work is done!)

Zayan, mama love you so much. Even though mama marah2 kadang2, mama really loves you and wish I can spend more and more of my time with you, me and ayah.

You are one cheeky little boy who definitely has a mind of your own. You hate it when I feed you, you hate wearing your big coat because it restricts you, you gasp in horror whenever I press the lift buttons before you. Your wanting to be independent can be annoying but really mama is proud of you, my little nino.

Grow each day, and like what Little Mix sang – Mama told you not to waste your life. Spread your wings, my little butterfly.

Lotsa love,
Your mama

PS Yes mama looks funny in the photo but it was fun times trying to
blow the candle with you.

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December 16, 2013 · 8:47 am

My fave books


Packing is slow.
It’s because I find things to read and flick through and then go all sentimental when i should just be slick and go pack/throw/donate!

Like yesterday I found the photobook my cousin made for me – with all the sweet notes and some not so prettty pictures of me, sent and written by my friends and her. Cue warm fuzzy knots in my heart – sometimes it feels that THAT Fiz they talk about is not much there anymore. I guess only certain people see that side of me (aside from M – no one here really sees that silly bimbo laughs like hyena side of me) and it has been so so long since i had a proper hang out being silly with close friends/family.

I digress.

So there I was packing my books and holding my fave books with a smile. Reliving the funny/clever/heartwarming chapters in my head. Thinking ‘aww wont it be nice to read this again’. No time, no time!

Ive put the books I really really like to one side to IG and realise theres just too many of them!!!

Ok thats it, if I decide not to pursue medicine anymore, I’m gonna be a librarian instead.

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October 25, 2013 · 6:04 am



I just want to let you, dear readers, know that I am still alive and kicking and surviving work. Full time worker/mummy (10-12 hrs at home, the other half of life at work) is ok. I have learnt so much working full time in a tertiary hospital in last few weeks. Exponential learning curve definitely. My body seems to be functioning ok with just 5-6 hrs of sleep. Pretty sure i need more though. But why waste time asleep when I can be living without working hey?

Ive been wanting to blog so many times. When I’m in the shower or washing the dishes, I have brief moments of epiphany thinking YES that will be a good thing to talk about and then the moment goes away as I get swept with doing the next task at hand.

Ok here’s a list of what’s in my mind/life lately and maybe one day I’ll write about it:

1. I have been married for 3 years now as of a few days ago. My tip to all couples out there: start low expectatiobs in gift giving. Come a frw years, youll be racking brain what to give next. I gave M socks this year. He was very happy with it (no joke. The socks are cool looking). Heart sings.

2. M’s birthday fell onto this month. Buying gifts for guys are difficult. I bought him a very expensive PS3 game. I consider that a gift from the heart – I mean why would I buy something that will distract my husband and limit my TV time unless I really love him right?

3. Zayan is talking! Well, kinda. Repeating words and a few random words that he knows and understands meaning of. Most importantly, he can shout mama from the bottom of staira now. Worryingly, everything is Mama now. He pointed to a picture of a guy on a brochure and went ‘mama?’. Hmmmmmmmmm.

4. We went to London to meet ny cousins and aunty/uncle. Being with family is great. It makes being away for so long just bearable.

5. Zayan can point to various body organs.

It sounds trivial when I say it out loud but I am so proud of him. Especially since the first body part he knows is ‘pusat’.

6. So many things to do re work. Audit report and presentation, case presentations, writing for short case to send for publication. The list goes on.

Ok thats it. I am post nights. Ive slept only 2 hrs in last 36 hours. Good stuff. i am typing this on my phone with eyes half closed. Hoe aersome an 8? (How awesome am I?)

lotsa love me

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September 27, 2013 · 11:53 pm