All the little kids that are not mine

I brought a toddler down for a scan under sedation the other day. Just like Ayman, he had chubby cheeks and has that cute curiosity/innocence that toddlers have. Toddler woke up in midst of it, totally in distress, probably confused why mummy wasnt there! Started spitting up and trashing around when we gave extra sedation. So I took him in my arms and started doing the swaying dance (you know, half jiggling, half swaying thing you do to make babies stop crying – by that I mean my babies!). He fell asleep within a few minutes and again, did the slow-put-down-onto-bed-gently-take-away-arm manouvre. As the radiographers put him in the ‘right’ position, he woke up and started crying. So I stroked his face and tried to sing ABC in my most soothing voice (as 4 radiographers looked on). He fell asleep to it. 
It was my most non-clinical part of the job that day but I think I enjoyed it most!

 But for some reason, it also made me feel wee bit sad (? giving my love to others when my sons are with someone else) so I gave extra hugs and cuddles to Ayman that day.

It reminded me of a book I just read titled ‘All the Little Children’. I’ll spare you any spoilers but basically involved two adults (who are mothers) in the woods with a bunch of children including theirs. One (main character) was made out to be work-driven, not-usually-there mum but obvs love her kids. It showed how, even though not usually of the maternal type, she extended her love and maternal instincts to the other kids. It played on the qs of: would you do things to benefit just your kids or would you sacrifice their happiness to save others? Morally we would choose to sacrifice for other lives, isnt it? But what if it meant risking your life and therefore resulting in your kids not having a mum? 

Anyway, obviously I wasnt in the woods but it reminded me on how I spend my time for other kids and leaving my kids to be taken care by others. 

I’m not a usual thriller fan but I finished this book within 2-3 days. It was a relatively easy read (as in not too heavy) but I think if made into movie, it will totally spook me! 

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