I realise I’ve been abandoning this blog for awhile now. For the first time ever, I actually forgot of its existence. In fact, for awhile, I have gone off blog-hopping, a used-to-be fave pastime of mine.
A week or so ago, I reached a tipping point. Without trying to sound melodramatic, I felt jaded with work at the age of 31. Talking to other colleagues, it seems like I might not be the only one. It felt like going through a hamster’s threadmill every day, working and pushing to your limits, and for what? Do I enjoy my work? I love working with children, I love seeing them transform from being so well and then running out of the ward, I find comforting and reassuring parents a satisfying job. But then there are other aspects of the job – the never ending ‘service provision, the lack of appreciation when all you want to do is do the best, getting bollocked by parents. I love the team I work in, they have been nothing but supportive, but I just came to a point thinking: This is just not worth it anymore. I know I still have years of working to pay back my dues but for now, I am tired of giving my all.
I’ll get it back again. Not too long in the future I’m sure because I have always wanted to do my best. For now though, let me just wallow in my hibernating self. And try to get my mojo back somehow, someway.