Some life coaching

So today I saw a life coach. Yes, life coaches are for realz. I would love to be a life coach but I dont think I have the energy and enthusiasm of a life
coach. She’s not exactly bubbly, she smiles appropriately, but she has this warmth to her and a positive attitude. I guess you’ll have to have a positive attitude being a life coach! Mun inda makin tia depressed and suicidal urang.

So anyway, I am neither depressed nor suicidal. Nor do I think I needed any life coaching. I have been recommended by my supervisors from last post to work on being assertive. And since this life coaching is available as part of our teaching programme, I can have four sessions with her. Now at first I was offended and insulted and my confidence was knocked back…. and then when I met her, she was actually pretty helpful. It also came at a good time, before my exam when I needed all the help to boost my confidence and presentation skills.

So good in fact that I have to share to you, my dear readers (perasan ramai), her knowledge and wisdom.

1. Fake it till you become it

After failing my clinical exam yet for the second time and a demotivating discussion with my supervisor, my confidence was at an all time low. I’ve always had confidence issues since I was young, cropping up behind me every now and then, a voice inside saying that I’m not smart enough, that I’m not cut out to be xxxxx (insert whatever I am aiming for at the time). In high school, I kept comparing myself to my brainy classmate next to me and had to reaffirm the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt like a mantra: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Anyway, then come uni and I compared myself to my best friend. She’s so much more clever than me, such a pretty girl, vibrant and vivacious (ha she probably hates me saying that, but you are my dear!). But she was the one who picked me up time and time again, giving me the GANBATTE vibes throughout uni. Over time, I learnt to love ME.

I’ve learnt over the years that to get through the exams and general medical life, you have to have self assurance and confidence. Much of our working life involves leading and making snap decisions. If you don’t sound confident, no one’s gonna listen to you, not your juniors, not the nurses, heck not your patients. I remember shadowing this junior dr (I was a med student at the time) and he was smart, confident and really good. Then he turned to us and said “You know a lot of this is bullshitting… just say things in a confident way and people will listen to you.” Now I’m not saying we should be reckless and do stupid things and act like it’s right. But it’s more of instilling confidence in others about your decision. The doctor that fumbles and flaps will not be taken seriously, people will start questioning even if he’s saying and doing the right thing.

Even to this day, I don’t feel that smart at all, I feel like an impostor on some days. Like say what I’m a paediatric registrar now?

Until I came across this life coach and this TED talk she recommended me watching. It tells us about how your body can influence your mind. By generating powerful poses, you emit self confidence through your body language and this in turn changes YOUR OWN mind about you. Isn’t that a revelation?

I’ve always dealt it with conquering ‘mind over matter’, but this time I can also do quick bodyposes to instill that confidence before a presentation, exam or similar stressful pressured situation.

Really watch the video, it’s about 10-12 minutes and worth the time watching.

Ok I’m going to end this now. I wanted to share another thing, which if headlined would sound like “FINDING YOUR INNER CORE TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS AND CONFIDENCE”, but I’ll save it for another post.

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