I know I havent written for awhile. We went to San Francisco, hence the pause in writing. But there’s also another reason why I haven’t written.
Lately there’s a few sad news that makes me think about life. And there’s nothing else I want to write about except that. But it’s such a monumental and huge loss that I can’t even begin to write about it.
Cut story short, my ex-boss passed away, an unexpected death on his way to work. Working in rotations (changing every few months or every year), I’ve worked for many consultants. He was one of my favourites. And I’m not just saying it just. But whenever we have those ‘so whose your fave consultant? the scary one? etc’ with other medical and nursing colleagues, I’ll certainly mention him.
Reading people’s tributes on facebook and his fundraising page. it cemented how much he has given to us as trainees. He was so grounded despite being so senior and established. With the current ‘defensive medicine’ (where people just do thousands of investigations and hand out medications like no tomorrow), he taughts us to think, think and think, and use our clinical judgement. He does weekly teaching for those doigg clinicals. Since I sat for it three times, by the third time, I vowed to pass it or I wouldn’t dare to show my face to him again. And he would grill us and ask us difficult questions and make you squirm as you stumble and ramble with your answer. And then he would give honest feedback and not make you feel stupid even though you gave the stupidest answer (I have given many many stupidest answers).
I felt so upset and sad with his passing. And I still am. I still think he would be there for me to work again with.
Someone wrotw on facebook that his legacy will transpire down generations of doctors. All that he has taught us, we will carry and teach back to future doctors.
And then there were the three American muslims who were killed by their neighbour. They did so much charity work and even on their death, because of their compassion and goodwill, people
have prayed for them and donated on their behalf.
When we were in San Francisco, we visited the Museum of Fine Arts. Which has amazingly tall beautiful ‘Roman Empire-like’ buildings. M asked me ‘Imagine people thousands of years ago built this and now people are admiring it. This is their legacy. What’s yours?’
I paused, and could only point at our two children. They are my only legacy (for now?). It dawned on me how much I have yet to give. How amazing would it be when my soul leaves this earth and people would keep praying for me. Giving because of me. Inspiring and be inspired because of me.
Morbid thoughts but all the same, motivated me to create my own legacy, whatever it is. For now, I’ll focus on raising my sons so they will be two fine boys with kind souls and be leaders of the Ummah. Ameen.