The ‘us’ now

I saw my site stats and see that on average 5-10 people per day visit my blog. I feel for the 5-10 people who do because it must be annoying to see a page not updated since 2 weeks ago. Like, tutup tia blog mu ani eh!

Anyway, I’m doing Take 2 of my clinical exams in 6 days time. I am calm and not at all stressed. In fact, slightly worried that I havent done much studying. Studying is sporadic due to oncalls and nights and generally feeling tired come 9 pm (lapas tidurkan zayan). I gotta pass this man, cannot be doing this again.

Gonna have the week off to get into the zone and build up my presenting skillz and confidence. It’s like the examiner just has to look at me and I tremble and blurt out stupid answers.

Think before you speak.

Pause before you act.

That should be my mantra for the week life.

Random thoughts: do you secretly stalk ahem look at other girls IG (the new fb/friendster) and basically just keep looking at photos after photos because theyre so pretty? not like in a girl crush way but in a polite, respectful ‘she’s so pretty, keep scrolling’ way. Ok that’s random.

Also, I look at my juniors in school’s wedding photos and think how young they look! Like, did I get married and people think I look young? #perasan

It’s kinda endearing though to see their pics. It’s like awww all sweet and in love and ‘I cant believe I’m married!’…. I guess over time, the dynamics of your relationship changes, especially when there’s a kid in the picture. And you’ve grown. I used to get upset that M and I are not how we used to be aka in love and all sweet words all the time but have acknowledged that dynamics of relationship do change. The things you go through together, the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the sides of one another you have seen – it grows together between us, binds us even more and forms who we are now. Forms ‘us’ now.

Dunno if I make sense.

Ok gotta sleep…

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