Empty inside

I know it’s been awhile since I last posted. 

Toldja that I’d feel depressed coming back. For awhile, not only was I depressed re coming back here (oh the grey weather! its so cold! miss the food back home! miss my family! siuk jua my friends always meeting up, etc etc etc ), I was depressed with my exam results – I failed. I found out the moment I touched down UK. I think it not only made me NOT looking forward to having my life on hold yet again for the exam but also that it means I cant go on holiday (aka balik brunei) in June cos thats when the exam will be. GAH! 

Failing it also has decreased my confidence. Knocked me back and think I’m not on par where I should be with my level of training right now. Antah eh, I just need to pick up my clinical mojo again. 

Anyway, that aside, I’ve been feeling empty lately. Like, the reason I’m always on Instagram and FB is because it makes me feel less lonely, being connected with people, watching other people’s lives. But it doesnt make me feel any better. In fact, I feel emptier each time I click on that FB/IG button! It made me realise I need to pick up my Iman – right now it’s on a trough level. Need to bring it up again. Trying to read Quran more regularly, trying to listen to more lectures. It’s so easy to surround ourselves with mindless things – tv, internet, facebook links – but what I need really is to get my mind fulfilled again. InsyaAllah, insyaAllah. 

Lotsa love, 

me

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