Got lots in my mind to talk about but havent sat down to formulate and write it properly.
Zayan’s childminder is pregnant and so we have to find a new one. She is having more preggy symptoms so cant take care of all her kiddies so cutting them down. Apparently Zayan is the last in her care and she’s not willing to finish her care for him just yet. She’s due in August and even contemplating of taking care of him even in her last month of pregnancy. Very sweet of her but we gotta find backup soon and fast just in case!
It makes me think of the whole mother-carer-child relationship, may it be with nannies or maids or childminders. In many cases, theres a delicate relationship going on where the mummies may fear some loss of control or even scared of being second best.
I was scared to hand over my child to this stranger and betawakal sajalah that she treats him right (and not kidnap him or lose him in public areas). Her place is a bit further out from our house but she seems goood, is a muslim and seems to be able to handle the crying-a-lot 6 month old baby zayan. It reminds me of my dad who would send us to Tutong for tuition classes. Now it doesnt matter the distance and effort as long as my child is in excellent care.
Anyway our relationship has grown and I can see that Zayan is happy there. Well, he just goes straight to the toy room when we arrive and not even a bye or looking back despite my ‘bye zayaaaan!’. Aita loves hearing stories of Zayan’s new tricks and shennanigans and equally would tell me what he’s been doing. I guess thats the other thing that eased me – she would tell me what he likes to do nowadays, things I havent told her and I feel happy knowing that he is happy and comfortable enough acting the same way as he does with us and at home. (In fact he seems like a much well behaved boy with her. Grrrr.)
It is bit difficult to let go of some stuff like how I want Zayan’s routine to be. Am pretty neurotic with his naps and insist he have two good naps, one in morning and one afternoon nap. But sometimes it doesnt happen and I know it may be because theres a lot of kids and he gets too excited kan bemain. Just gotta let go sometimes.
The best thing I guess is that she writes down EVERYTHING in his diary book – what he ate/drink, how much, what time his naps are and how long and what they’ve been up to.
I know people get scared when they leave their children with their amah. That the kid may start favoring the amah. My childhood memories do contain a lot of our maid and me – her helping me ride a bike, her encouraging me to read quran, her teaching me to sew, me telling of my new best friend. There was one who i was so attached to that when she was leaving for good, I asked her ‘kaka inda sayang aku lagi kah??’ and refused to give a final goodbye.
My point is these women have been great carers throughout my growing up but they were no substitute for my mama. I never once thought that they have taken her place despite her working 7-5 five days a week. Instead it felt like I have an extra person taking care of and loving me.