Paying for our parents

Motherhood mondays:Do you ever pay for your parents?

Read this blog post (she’s one of my favourite bloggers nowadays) and found it quite interesting.

I don’t think I will be far off in my views of most of us Bruneians have the same mentality of helping out our parents and elderly (ie nini2) once we start earning money. I remember talking to my friends one time, when a few of us have graduated and had acquired steady jobs, and we were recalling how it felt like the first time we gave money to our parents after the first paycheck. There is that proud feeling of ‘I’ve done it, I’m there now and I’d like to help you and take care of you, just like how you took care of me’. Well actually, we know it won’t be the same – we will never exceed and repay all the sacrifices our parents have made for us.

I remember going back to Bru for holiday in my first year of work and noncholantly giving mama a wad of money, saying something like ‘Nah ma’. She was reading a magazine at the time and she looked at the money, took it and said thank you. Then we went to talk about what she was reading, as if this was a NON event, but we both knew it was and inwardly felt good about it. My friend (was it Fau?) told of how she gave her mum some $$ from her first wage and her mum went all teary eyed and rubbed her cheeks. Ros said her dad gave a formal speech of thanks, macam err TTR ya tarus. Haha! I think for our parents it must feel like THEY’VE done it (!!), they’ve raised their children and sent them to university/higher education and now their children have a job and can take care of themselves! The Asian dream, shall we say?

I guess now that my parents are retired (my dad is still working kinda for private company but much reduced hours), all I wanna do is let them relax and not think about finances and let them spoil themselves. They grew up di Kg Ayer, and whilst not drastically poor, they weren’t that well off either. Their whole lives were of them working hard to get where they are now. So now, I want them to feel they can go for holidays and buy whatever non essentials they want and just chill in their pension years and not worry about $$.

It’s funny – in this is interesting- cos M’s parents, whilst Asians, don’t think this way. They NEVER let us pay for dinner. I think each time we go for a meal, I would want M to pay for the meal first but his dad always beat us to it!

Anyway, each family to their own. My parents never asks for money and even when in medical school, I would buy gifts and help out where i can and mama would go ‘Banar? Inda payah ko? Ada duit mu?’. I guess the scholarship has given me (and my family) so much benefits, I could leave out some moolahs from time to time for them, Alhamdulillah.

Do I expect Zayan to do the same for me? I don’t think so. But I would like him to retain that custom and respect of wanting to take care of his parents when we get older.

Lotsa love, me

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