My Wish List

Have arrived at good ol Brunei, where there’s currently thunder and lightning. The type where I feel better switching off the TV and staying inside.

It’s now midnight and I wish I can have a good night’s sleep. Zayan and I arrived 2 days ago Alhamdulillah. It has been a pretty smooth flight with very little crying from zayan. In fact he slept quite a lot.

Anyway the hard part, it turns out, wasnt the flight but his transition to the weather, people and time difference. His sleep is all over the place and in evening, I cant put him down when he’s asleep, not even in bed with me. No amount of feeding will get him back to sleep. I feel like – cemana kan tidur ni. just have to hold him all night. kalau aku anak raja, ada urang buleh pigangkan zayan all night whilst I go to sleep! (nya my sis in law ‘tapi ko bukan anak raja lai’…sigh the harsh reality!)

Anyway he does go to sleep fitfully…at 2 am!(thats 8 pm i think uk time, which is his normal sleeping time)

He also has to sleep with the aircond and fan (level 3) on AND only a short vest, minus swaddle! o.m.g…. winter baby tah banar! *shivering, aku yang kesajukan*

And lastly, the most difficult bit, him being super manja. Pemilih… though he’s gradually warming up to people. And letting them hold him. And generally being less of a crybaby.

….. When I was a kid, I was such a crybaby. Everything made me cry….even my cousin who’s 7 years younger made me cry! So now I know how my parents feel. Oh please I hope Zayan isnt this manja when he grows up!!

All this aside, I am missing my other half terribly. The max no of days we’ve been apart is 3 days. He’s coming next tues, so I counting no of sleeps till he’s here! I know I know sappy and mushy but I’m so used to having him around, telling him about my day. And even when he’s on night shifts and I barely see him (in an awake state), there is that comfort of him being there, in the same house.

I also have finished reading ‘Mum’s list’, about a cancer victim who jotted down and left a list of instructions and things she love. To remind her husband and sons what she wishes of them and of them to accomplish. The book is written by the husband about the list and includes stories of how they first met and all the things theyve been through. It’s such an unshamedly honest and heartfelt book.

Makes me miss M even more!

So for me, my current wishlist is for the number of sleeps to be less and I can have my husband with me again.


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