Alhamdulillah, another month of Ramadan and I’m blessed to be experiencing it.
I’ve decided not to fast though, as it’s a 20 hour fasting this year and don’t think it’d be good for myself or baby 😦 Feeling missed out from it all. But insyaAllah, I can fast myself from other things than food and drinks.
Like: No gossiping
No ill thoughts
No stalking on facebook that will lead to ill thoughts
And insyaAllah, since I’m not fasting, I can then cook for other people who are. I guess that’s where I can contribute. I was debating whether to fast or not actually. A wise friend said that – I’ve been given this privilige not to fast and in fact, it means I can give more (as fidyah). So hopefully, hopefully, I will benefit from this month too.
But y’know, I do miss the fasting. That satisfactory feeling at end of day that you did it. And at the end of the month, having that feeling of DETOXED out. Well, thats how I usually feel though.
In the last 3 years of working, I feel bad though cos the amal lessens as I’m usually too tired at end of day. So hopefully can strive harder this year!!
I came across this hadith the other day:
“When a woman is pregnant with a child, all the angels will make Istighfar (repentance) on her behalf. Allah SWT will, for each day of her pregnancy, write for her 1000 good deeds and erase from her 1000 bad deeds.”
I’m not too sure where the hadith originated from but it makes my heart go warm and fuzzy. All those times I’ve been complaining, and I didnt have to/shouldnt really! Because I’m paid for much, much more than I realise.
1. Of course, at this time of year, there are more and more pictures of yummy yummy food on blogs and FB. Tais liur ku!!! I haven’t been craving anything in particular, rather being more suggestible. Ie. If someone mentions pizza, I want pizza. So now that there are LOADS of pics of food, I want them too 😦 Sigh, it’s a good thing I guess that I’m not in Bru. Berabis gain weight tia karang.
2. Tonight is my last night shift in Kettring. After a whole year of working here, it’s time to say goodbye. Sad but also think I’m ready for the next challenge! Going to work in a different town, different hospital, different doctors. It’s like first day of school all over again! Good thing is – Michelle will be there! (a good friend of mine, also doing paeds)
What I can’t accept just yet is the fact that I’m gonna be commuting even LONGER distance. Leicester to Northampton = 1 hour (and that aint peak hours!) I’m already tired of commuting the 45 min journey (35-40 min kalau takan minyak), so am not sure how I’m going to tolerate this one!
I’ve booked hospital accomodation just in case I can’t do the commute, but CAN-NOT bear the thought of separating from dear M. We’ve had days/nights where we dont see each other – the longest being 3 days – but it usually means I’m working 12 hour shifts and therefore I’m too tired to do/feel anything but sleep. Anyway, masatu emo and nangis at the thought of only seeing him in the weekends or on my days off AND staying in lonely, old hospital room where it’s not ensuite and has communal kitchen. *awu manja*
Anyway anyway anyway, *GOOD thoughts!* hope this ramadan will be full of good deeds and bountiful for all of you out there! 🙂