1. Unmotivated to do anything.
Mostly unmotivated to study. I have sat down to do my ‘revision timetable’ (eseh, as if I would actually follow it) for upcoming exam and realise that I have only FIVE weeks to study minus the 2 weeks of frolocking around South East Asia just before the exams. Am I clever or not to schedule my holidays before exams?
(In my defense, it was the only holiday we both can take together for a good amount of time. Previously can only take 2-3 days off only sniff sob sniff)
2. I am also unmotivated to cook.
But I.must.feed.the.husband. (He’s working – of course!)
3. Also unmotivated to tidy up the house 😦
Ok I’ve just come back from the conference in Leics, where we listened to many many lectures. Two things that stuck to me are:
1. Not to be static. To constantly progress, move forwards, gain more knowledge, become a better Muslim, find ways to serve community and mankind more and more. For becoming complacent, that would be our rut, our self-path to …. perhaps not destruction, but preventing ourselves from striving to be better.
I talked to this Msian lady and we talked about how we progressed as Muslims in this country, more than we ever did in those decades back home. Back home, we took it for granted being Muslims. Everythings halal and we were brought up to do things a certain way, to pray and fast and all the usual things. But it wasnt until I came here that I truly thought of why I’m doing it. And there were challenges (and people too) that made me stop and think and go ‘hang on, why am I doing this?’. Lots of people are worried of the young people coming here and going astray but there are many more people that I’ve met here that have gone the opposite way. They learn more, they WANT to learn more. Being away from the familiarity of the Muslim society makes you hold steadfast to your faith more, alhamdulillah. Thank You Ya Rabb for helping us, guiding us and instead of being astray, making us learn and love more about our Deen.
2. To remember why I’m in this world. This 11 year old in clinic once brought up a question of ‘why am I on this planet?’ – very philosophical for an 11 year old but perhaps that is the time when you start questioning of these things. Don’t even ask how the topic came in the first place. Anyway he is probably far in touch with the bigger picture (even if he may not know the answer or confused) than most of us. Have we asked ourselves that in recent times? I haven’t, I must admit.
I go to work, I moan about work, I slouch in front of the tv after work, I make dinner and drink tea afterwards. Yes I pray and try to be good most of the time, but with the mundane activities of the daily life, I forget to reflect. And I feel happier thinking of what one of the speakers said – that ibadah is not just praying five times a day or fasting or giving to charity. Ibadah occurs throughout the day, for all the things that we do for the sake of Allah – THAT is ibadah.
Ok I just needed a pick-me-up and motivate/psych myself up to cook dinner and study!