Pregnancy update

It’s been awhile I know (how many times have I started a post like that???)….

This is what’s been happening and the reasons behind the lack of writing.

1. I am now 35 weeks pregnant. I am also huge… like disproprortionately huge. Everything else seems to stay the same except for my tummy. I think no way can it expand more but ladies and gents, every morning I wake up and realise that it can.


I hate playing the pregnant card (‘being the disabled cos I’m pregnant’ card I mean) and so far I’m coping well. Alhamdulillah, no symptoms really except for the pelvic pain. Ok, let me talk about that!! I dont remember having much pelvic pain …. but oh my, I feel for all the women with SPD now! It HURTS! The annoying thing is that it hurts after sitting for awhile or in certain sitting and lying positions. Lying down is no longer a comfort. I have to find a position in bed that is the most comfortable and then I cant move to change positions cos it hurts. My pelvis hurts, my back hurts and changing positions actually hurts my tummy. I cant explain it but imagine you have a whole load of bricks strapped on your tummy that is well supported by a pouch. It’s well supported usually so it doesnt hurt your back or hips
much …. then you wanna lie down on your back and instantly it hurts because the bricks are pressing on you. So you turn to lie on your side but its so heavy that it hurts to roll over. Eventually you get to your side and lie comfortably… after awhile your back starts to hurt being in that position, it wants to rest. But you know you cant lie on your back, so how now brown cow??

THAT is my dilemma every single night.

I have bought a very very very expensive pillow and I’m happy to say it has helped cut down discomfort. I do wish I can go back
to lying on my back… I miss lying on my back.

You know what, my theory is that women go through these hardships before giving birth so that our body gets used to the sleep deprivation that is to come postnatally.

The other symptom that I have now – and didnt have with Zayan – is the itchiness of my tummy!! Actually, I’ve changed my stretch mark oil (from cocoa butter thing to Bio oil) and actually its not as itchy now. LOL maybe the cocoa butter didnt work for me. And Bio oil smells nicer. And am I dreaming but my skin actually looks better…????

Oh stretch marks…. I know its part and parcel of pregnancy. But I’m much bigger now than I was with zayan and not surprisingly, have gotten stretch marks (also when We moved house, I couldnt find my cream for awhile). Now I know I’m supposed to embrace this and be proud of my battle scars. But I would be dishonest if I didnt admit now how depressed I was when it appeared.

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Silverstone experience


Booked a driving experience at Silverstone for dear husband as an advanced bday gift. For some reason, it was cheaper to drive a Ferrari and Aston martin than just Ferrari – but then again I dont know what kind of Ferrari it was for the latter (maybe more super exciting fast ferrari?).

He’s not a major car fan or into F1 even but figured it’s one of those things that would be great to experience. Especially since our days are numbered before baby no 2 (aka before we hibernate for nx 6 mths-1 yr).😂😂

Managed to keep it a surprise all the way till we got there (“we have to collect your present which is an hour away…” lol so ominous). Must say, I’m not a car fan but hearing those engines roar are pretty exhilirating (alum lagi driving).

My words before he started were ‘be careful!! dont go crazy!!!’ hehe mau membalikan tapi takut jua banarnya.

Glad he enjoyed it and Zayan – the most car fan of us – were most excited to see the cara whizzing past.

Love you sayang,

From now on, your bday presents would be boring ok as nothing can top driving a Ferrari. Unless yknow I buy you one….


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September 7, 2014 · 11:06 pm


I need twitter for little stories like this but am not an avid follower/user of twitter:

My heart melted a thousand times last night. Zayan kissed my nose when I pretended to sleep. He then went back to sleeping pose – yknow, eyes closed but not really asleep. I waited a few seconds and kissed him back on his nose. My heart melted when he said ‘thank you’.

As much as a tantrum-y child he can be, he can be a pretty sweet boy too.

Love you my boy,
Your mama

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Refueling the relationship

Gahhh wrote a long post but it got deleted when my phone abis battery.

So here it goes again:

I find it hard to have quality time these days with M. Zayan is super clingy, even more than when we were in Brunei. Macam tauuuu saja kan ada baby adek (he does point out my bump as baby and demands to see baby/bump at random times) but I’m
not sure he REALLY knows.

So I asked M for some me and him time. Lagipun, two of his sisters are around and buleh jaga zayan.

We headed off to Kilworth country hotel, 30 mins away in the countryside. It’s basically a huge estate house with acres and acres of greenery. The weather was sunny and nicely cool and best of all, no fear of dogs running around!

Started off with the afternoon tea. Pistachio and vanilla cake – hmm never thought of having pistachio cake but it was good actually.

M and I had competition on who will take the better photo on IG. His did look better than mine actually.

The obligatory shot with estate house behind us

What was a maze once upon a time. M insisted on doing the maze properly and then correcting the sun clock in the centre.

Bump! Took a selfie and realised after that there was someone sitting not too far behind me. Oops! Malu sekajap.

It’s nice to have a lil getaway with M once in awhile (mesti once in awhile – kalau selalu, rasa guilty tia tinggalkan zayan). Our fourth anniversary will be next month, cant believe how fast time has flown. I still consider us ‘young’ in our marriage – a lot to learn still but insyaAllah, we will get to our dementia years together. *morbid medic humor*

Sometimes we go from day to day, not realising how much we have to refuel our relationship with other half. That we are more than ‘Ayah and Mama’ and that once upon a time, there was just me and him and how much effort we gave into ‘me and him’.

Love you sayang, me

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Taking care of one’s self

I have come to realise that I dont take care of myself well enough. Went for a facial today (I planned to study in the morning and then slotted a facial after hrhr. oh myy life of a taitai pregnant wife – err until my leave ends this weekend that is) and realise how BAD my skin condition is. It’s so dry and dehydrated and definitely has not got the pregnancy glow! And let’s not talk about my eyes. The eye bags – so puffy! How did it get so puffy??

Anyway, after a rejuvenating facial and mental pep talk of ‘I MUST USE MY MOISTURISER EVERY DAY!’, I realise how I have not been taking care of myself well nowadays. Not just skin wise but in so many other ways too. Spiritually… mentally … cosmetically … health wise. I am so prepped to thinking about the exams this year that I have let go of many things.

The recent holiday has recharged me. I was getting lazy with my solat (procrastinating it to the last minute, Astaghfirullah… please help me continuously better myself Ya Rabb). I haven’t touched the Quran for awhile.

And also I went to see the midwife today and there were some protein and sugar in my urine. Ahhh!! So i have to do the dreadful GTT, a test to check whether I have diabetes during pregnancy. Actually I hate it cos I dont like the taste of lucozade and I have to drink a litre of it! Oh man, its all the teh tarik ping and tapak kuda and choc cakes I’ve been having back home!

And and I’ve recently read about attachment tanks – or something like that. Basically theres theory that if a kid has their attachment tanks well filled, they are more confident and secure in themselves. To fill this tank, you need to give them attention and BE there for them. Now you might think I AM there for them. All the time! But are you? or do you have your whatsapp/instagram on? Listening with half ear whilst watching TV? Guilty to both qs! Granted we’re tired after work and need some ‘me’ time of our own. But what this theory is saying is that you just need to give a short but concentrated amount of time when you truly focus on your child. And the best times are first thing in the morning, when you come back from being away with them and before bedtime.

So here’s 6 vows to myself:

1. I will pray on time.

2. I will read the quran – even seayat pun every day.

3. I will drink more than a litre of water everyday.

4. I will moisturise my face and tummy daily.

5. I will fill in the 15 minute attachment tanks to Zayan and M everyday. (M doesnt have an attachment tank. He’s a well emotionally secured man but it always helps to invest in your relationship!)

6.I will cut down on my sugar intake. (uhhhh last vow is the hardest kali)

So here’s to a shinier, brighter, less dehydrated, spiritually recharged (insyaAllah) me!

Love, me

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Updates : 29 weeks preggers

Wow, I’m so pemalas at writing these days. It looks like I only do one post a month. Cant help it: (1) nada mood and (2) I have so many things on my plate.

After the nice (but tiring) holiday back home, I have so many things to think about:

1. My exam in October
I failed my last attempt in July and now want to do it in October. Yesss, when I am 35/36 week pregnant. InsyaAllah, dengan izin Allah, I CAN DO THIS! GANBATTE!

I was totally feeling fine 3 weeks ago when I sent the exam application. And then suddenly I hit 27 weeks and I feel heavy and …well, pregnant. No symptoms alhamdulillah. Just need to rest a lot and not exert myself too much to sustain energy for the whole day. I must say, if I can do an 18 hour flight solo with a 2 year old, I am up for anything!

2. Starting registrar rota next week.

Basically, more responsibility. More decision making. After 5 pm, I’ll be the one people look to for answers as I’ll be the most senior paediatrician around. No pressure.

3. Moving house
So we’ve found a place that we want to move to and hopefully no more moving around for the next few years! We (as in me) wanted to move to a bigger place with a garden. But mainly a bigger place than our current 2 bedroom apartment. I think it’s high time we live in a proper house!

We’re getting the keys this saturday and going to ‘slowly pack’. That’s M’s words. My thinking is that we move as much as we can this weekend (the non essential stuff) and then choose a weekend when we just move everything.

4. And lastly, and of course most importantly, getting ready for new bebe arrival!!!!
….. Except we haven’t bought anything yet. We haven’t thought (much) about the new bed arrangement when baby comes. Well, even with Zayan, we didn’t buy anything until I was over 30 weeks. And we don’t need to buy the big stuff – got the baby seat, stroller, breast pump, etc ready anyway. I’ve piled up the neutral-coloured clothes from Zayan’s old clothes and it amounts to: 6 short sleeved vests and 5 long sleeved vests for the newborn stage. Told this to M and he said ‘its ok, girls can wear blue too.’ WHAAAAT, NOOOO! Even if baby doesn’t realise this, I will!

Oh wait, I haven’t announced yet have I? InsyaAllah, we ‘re going to have baby girl. I’m not gonna go all estatic until baby is born!

Wow, I’m 29 weeks this week. So maybe next weekend, M and I can do shopping for baby. EXCITING! Love baby clothes. Makes the pregnancy symptoms worthwhile, haha.

Lotsa love, me

PS. Was sorting out Zayan’s old toys – the one he played when he was a lil ‘un. And we have plenty of plush toys (of varying animals and size!) and rattlers. Macam buleh request kah if people want to boy toys for new baby? LOL Something NOT plush toy and rattler pleaaaseeee. Actually, someone (Niza and Shauqi actually) bought us a book made of cloth material. It was awesome cos baby can gnaw on it and I won’t have to worry if the pages will tear. Plus it’s light, so baby can move it around and not have it fall on it. So anyone thinking of what to buy for newborn, that’s a good idea me thinks!

The other thing I always think babies can never have enough of (esp if messy and banyak saliva or muntah) are bibs! And nice fashionable bibs that parents feel guilty of spending money on – so it’s nice when someone else gets it for them.

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Raya in Brunei


Finally after all these years (maybe 5 yrs?), menyampati beraya di Brunei – albeit a week late and without M (boooo!).

Raya now means:

1. no ang pow/duit raya for me!!! Ok so I shouldnt feel disappointed – bernaknsudah and bekeraja but i cant help it okkkk. I still feel that young at heart LOL That said, amit ada bagi duit raya to me. Iski berabis!!

We’ve only been to a few houses but Zayan has collected a fair share of duit raya. Inda pulang ya paham – he just gives it to me or drop it once start bemain.

2. There’s tapak kuda in all the houses, like ALL the houses. Aint complaining.

3. Beraya one or two house is enough for me for a day. Ngalih after that!! Ahhh, years ago, I could go to more than 5 houses a day and be up for more!

It also doesnt help once Zayan gets restless. I mean, apa jua kan dibuatnya – he doesnt eat the roll and kek lapis and biscuits (weird child). He does like to ear satay and soto. Tapi lapas makan and if nada mainan, bored tia. Bored = restless = exploring people’s houses onto unchartered, ‘stay off’ territories.

4. I cant fit into any of my baju raya. I’m pretty sure I have exploded in the one week I’ve been back. Suddenly, my front and back is huge! I borrowed my SIL punya maternity baju kurung and only one yang muat! I asked her – mana baju kita yang kita pakai masa kami nikah? Cos I remember she popped the day after! lol confirm muat tu. Except she modify tia sudah to her current size.

5. Also i get envious looking at badan2 ramping pakai baju kurung. I was once liked that!

“you’re pregnant!”
“I knooowww…. still”

*psycho cakap sorang*

6. Toddlers/less than 3 yr olds wearing baju cara melayu and baju kurung is SO cute. Like kan di pirik2 cute.

7. Ok atu saja. I wish i can eat more and more but i feel full easily and if i push it, there WILL be consequences in the form of reflux/gastritis.

Ada hikmahnya jua lah alhamdulillah. Inda mendulur nafsu banar *pops in another tapak kuda*

Much love,



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August 16, 2014 · 7:39 am