Day out to Birm

We wanted to go to conkers today – which has an outdoorsy play area wiyh treetop walkway and herb garden or something like that. Woke up to (yet again) depressing weather.

So we decided to find indoor activity and went to Birmingham’s Thinktank! Actually quite fun and would spend longer here if (1) we dont have a toddler running around with the attention span of a moth and (2) I’m feeling so hungry.


Here’s the secret garden. or is it science garden. Haha! Actually sajuk and windy but everyone is pretending its not!

K gonna go for lunch now – to wokstatic for some halal sushi! nyumssss

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Breast pumps and all its glory



Haha, excerpt of article from NY Times. Exactly how I felt once upon a time. Like a cow. Baik jua I worked at a paediatric ward/neonatal unit and can pop in the breastfeeding room, designed for breastfeeding mummies in the unit. There was a radio on at all times, perhaps to drown the noise of the machine and also for some stimulation of the mind that comes with the boring task of just sitting there whilst you pump all your milk out.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Weekend lie ins

It’s the weekend, weekend, weekend!

No plans for the weekend but isnt it nice not to have a plan?? I’m thinking we should do an impromptu trip though – I just dont know

Waking up late is also the best thing about weekends. And for the first time since we’ve been back, M and I are off together! So yay, we can take turns in lying in and taking care of Zayan. Actually Zayan woke up pukul 6 ‘ SUSU MAMA SUSU!!’ and now he’s back asleep again. As for me, I’m now wide awake but at least I get to enjoy some downtime.

Yesterday after praying Zuhur, I sat down to just muhasabah diri and for some downtime. There were a lot of us working and nothing much to do, so I didnt have to rush back to work after praying. It occured to me that my life now is always thinking or anticipating what next to do. After work, I have to prepare dinner (or think of what to have for dinner so M can cook it). After sembahyang isya, I have to get Zayan ready for bed – which may or may not be a war struggle. After sembahyang at work, I often rush back to the unit scared that Ive taken too much time already. It just feels like it’s always something to think of/prepare/rush into.

Like even now, I cant help but think – need to prepare breakfast. But thats just cos my tummy is all rumbling and crying for food.


These two clearly do not care for breakfast right now.

Over and out,

Ps its 7 am and I need to call someone about something – I wonder what time is acceptable to call someone on a weekend. Hmm, I’ll call her at 9…. or 10.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Saudi princesses reaching out

Watched this yesterday and this has been on my mind lately.

Firstly, I cant believe they’re in their late 30s/early40s, they look great. Ok, that aside, kesian jua watching it. If somehow you’re too lazy or its slow to post up, its two of the Saudi princesses interviewing on skype of how they said theyre being locked up for the last 13 years. They’re not allowed to travel and only allowed to visit each other (I think). Their food has been getting less and less.

Sigh,  I’m pretty pretty sure things will not go any easier on them after doing the interview.

May Allah make their struggle easier,

May somehow the powers of the world today can influence their release somehow,

May they always have their faith with them for thats what keeps one together,

May they be an inspiration to many more women out there whose freedom has been taken away from them,


*Feeling hopeless*



PS. So weird, mac doesnt have a hastag on the keyboard!

Leave a comment

April 2, 2014 · 10:21 am

Empty inside

I know it’s been awhile since I last posted. 

Toldja that I’d feel depressed coming back. For awhile, not only was I depressed re coming back here (oh the grey weather! its so cold! miss the food back home! miss my family! siuk jua my friends always meeting up, etc etc etc ), I was depressed with my exam results – I failed. I found out the moment I touched down UK. I think it not only made me NOT looking forward to having my life on hold yet again for the exam but also that it means I cant go on holiday (aka balik brunei) in June cos thats when the exam will be. GAH! 

Failing it also has decreased my confidence. Knocked me back and think I’m not on par where I should be with my level of training right now. Antah eh, I just need to pick up my clinical mojo again. 

Anyway, that aside, I’ve been feeling empty lately. Like, the reason I’m always on Instagram and FB is because it makes me feel less lonely, being connected with people, watching other people’s lives. But it doesnt make me feel any better. In fact, I feel emptier each time I click on that FB/IG button! It made me realise I need to pick up my Iman – right now it’s on a trough level. Need to bring it up again. Trying to read Quran more regularly, trying to listen to more lectures. It’s so easy to surround ourselves with mindless things – tv, internet, facebook links – but what I need really is to get my mind fulfilled again. InsyaAllah, insyaAllah. 

Lotsa love, 


Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Pics update

Last night in Bru. Cant believe it. Wish I could stay here longer. I even said ‘bah stay sini saja…’ to M but we both know we need to finish our training before we can go back :( :( *heavy heart*

Anyway, here are some pics cos i know I wont post anytime soon lest I feel even more homesick by doing so.

Met up with Joanne in Singapore, at Changi Airport before departure actually!

(Fish & co was awesomeee)

It’s been 4-5 years since we’ve seen each other. We were uni mates/kawan lepak/study group buddies back in the day – there were me, Zimah, Joanne and Sungkai (yes that is his nickname) who bonded over during study group. Sungkai is the big brother kind tapi suka insult us – called me gedik, like buleh to my face. Zimah my bff, like the sister I never had. Joanne – the blur one and makes us laugh with her great dont-mean-to-be-funny one liners. Ahh back in the days! Joanne’s doing paeds too, so it was nice to talk to someone doing the same thing as you.

Zayan meets Alya. Zayan iski kan mau bekawan but Alya was more elusive. Had to remind Zayan re personal space.


The first few days back, we lounged sooo much – macam makan, tidur, limpang, makan… atu tah saja keraja. I felt so sluggish and felt like we're not maximizing our holiday! But here I decided to go all #knk (kenali negara kitani) and went to the Kg Ayer Gallery. It wasnt huge the place but Zayan enjoyed the boat ride and boats in general. "boat! boat! boat!" His pronounciation lagi ada more of english accent (can you imagine boat being said the english way? thats how he said it! sapa kan tu mengajar? BOT BAH ZAYAN BOT)

Btw thats him clutching 'I love Brunei' badge that you get when you visit the gallery. Seringgit saja tu tambang nya, check it out only to say you've been there. Baik jua bah bawa kids to Kg Ayer, I spent a chunk of my childhood there and feel sad that Zayan didnt get to experience it as well (except dulu banyak kegaliannya aku ah – gali jambam, gali jalan arah titian pasal banyak tahi kucing).


This is me and M, escaping as soon as Zayan tido. Mau mengupi – it was 10.30 pm – tapi nda tau kemana and dimana yang buka masih. Coffee bean/zone macam boring too generic. I thought lets just go to Qlap, there should be one cafe still open till midnight or later! In the end, we went to Twelv – open till 11.45 pm ok people just in case you’re an oldie like us tapi still want to merasakan jalan malam. I yawned like 5 times, haha inda cool!


Yesterday, we had BBQ and bouncer di rumah. Saja2 for no occasion except to have fun :) :) :) My abang punya kids stayed overnight, sekali bangun awal pagi 6.30 going ‘bouncer bouncer!’. Rupanya the condition was that they can go main bouncer once Zayan bangun. Atu ya, as soon as Zayan bangun, they went ballistic. In total, they went on it 3 times in the day.
Totally got my money’s worth!

Before the 2nd time they went on it, my sis in law cakap buleh main tapi tunggu Zayan abis minum susu and relax (so inda muntah). The kids followed him around, pressure urang minum susu.

Oh and the slide, I was scared man. Tinggi kali ah and melabuk splashing lagi masa landing. The kids are so fearless. Hmm, guess maybe fear is conditioned after all.


Being the good son in law, whilst I sat on the swing and makan mee and ambil gambar heheheh.


We went on the Empire hi-tea just for me to menyampaikan hajat and also an excuse to walk around the beach-y area of Empire. The food was ok, I actually liked the savoury more than the sweet desserts. And the scones were good as far as scones go.

Anyway, I’m gonna miss Bru. Back to reality of washing up and laundry and bangun awal keraja. And back to the lonely life of living away from family. Siuk zayan sini banyak cousins, theres always someone to jaga him in the house. He’s not clingy and would play by himself even if nada urang to play with. Sighhhhh.

Ok thatsitthanksbye.


Filed under Uncategorized

Onward to Singapore


Out of SQ flight London to Singapore! This is him going ‘bus!’ – bus pulang di excitedkan nya. Yang airplane palak2 dapan inda pulang iski.

The flight from London was okaaayyyy. Please take into account that I was still post nights Zombie/lack of sleep and mumtathil had just finished 4 day of oncalls plus having lil sleep since he was taking care of zayan solo (since I was on nights).

So there we were, still tired and just wanna sleep, but our rambunctious, inda-pandai-teranah boy wont hear anything of it. Up and down the aisle, up on the seat, at one point, he even put the long cord of the remote control to go from the screen to the seat and started ‘riding’ on the cord. Oh my anakku.

Couldnt fault the airline really. Nothing to complain about. Good service, didnt have to wait long for anything, courteous and friendly cabin crew. One stewardess heard zayan cry and we realise his susu supply ani abis. She came over to ask if everything was ok and when she heard re our crisis, went to get and heat up some fresh cow’s milk. Cheers!!! Crisis averted!!

Singapore… there were lots of things I wanted to write about but now lupa tia.

Sorry I stopped writing for the reasons I cant even remember now. Anyway these are my tips to people going to Singapore (cos yknow I havent been there for 10 years or so and learnt things the hard way):

1. Buy an ezlink MRT card – its basically like an oyster card for their MRT (aka tube). I reckong ticket prices are cheaper using it. We used $15 worth (singapore dollar) in the 3 days there, and we travelled A LOT! Including going to the singapore zoo, which is way north up the country, and going to universal studio.

2. Speaking of MRT, do not eat in the MRT! LOL it seems like everyone knows this sudah… I certainly didnt! I was happily munching my peanut butter sandwich whilst this woman across from me stared at me. Sekali after about 4-5 stops, she was about to get off, she stared wee bit longer st me – sampai ku senyum macam hi – sekali she said “you’re not supposed to eat in here…” Tarus inda senyum. And barutah tenampak the ‘dont eat or else fined for $500′ sign 😨😨😨

3. When going to Universal Studios, buy the express pass! We were told to do this by our friends who live there. It costa an additional $30 and you know what, it was well worth it!! The satisfaction of avoiding the long queues. All that time saved. We only had 3 days (including arriving and leaving days) in Spore, so we wanted to cram as much activities in that space of time. We arrived at 10 am and left around 3 pm, having been to almost all the rides 👍👍

Love the Universal Studios – it was just the right size for a hot day with a toddler.

Plus Elmo was there, think Zayan macam dumbfounded when he saw Elmo. Tediam tarus and malu inda mau get near. He did half hug elmo when we took a pic with Elmo.

4. Orchard Road is crazy packed! I can see the appeal that road of shops have on Bruneians. All the shopping you can have!! And it is the favourite activity for Bruneians. But perhaps it was because we just got offf the plane that day, perhaps it was jet lag, but I wasnt too keen there. All the shops macam in UK jua. Also there was just TOO MUCH! hahaha mental. Yeah I guess i was too tired. If I didnt have a rambunctious toddler who doesnt understand the concept of NGALIH LAPAS NAIK LONG HAUL FLIGHT, maybe I would be more excited kan bemain.

What I did enjoy is going around and window shopping at Bugis! More kitsch shops but still has the high street shops. The Uni Qlo was huge and wish I can buy more stuff there!

5. Singapore Zoo is awesssomeeeeee!

What I love about Singapore Zoo is that the animals seem more into their natural habitat and you’re close to them! With no huge gates between you a lot of the times! Well, ok not all the time but like with the giraffes, you’re so close with them and nada gate pun!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized